blatherings

blatherings
the shallow side

Wow. I am a walking ball of stress over this Buffy lecture tomorrow. I'm having trouble breathing deeply and have to remind myself to put my shoulders down. The tape of clips is done, the lecture is pretty much good to go.... I just need to do it. Without hyperventilating.
7.3.05 22:09


R.I.P.

I had to put my cat down today.  I’ve tried writing something about it for a while now and can’t.  I’m very sad.
 
The vet was really nice. They took him in at the last minute and they stayed late to finish everything.  Poonam took us there and also stayed the entire time, completely buggering her day. 
 
I’m going to bury him in the river valley this weekend, despite having some thoughts that this is illegal. 
 
It’s late and I’m tired and my head hurts from crying.  But I can’t sleep.  I’m not even thinking really at this point.  I feel a little lame – there was a memorial for the four officers shot outside of Mayerthorpe today – here I am crying over a cat.  But he was my slug cat, my kitten.  He used to follow me from room to room.  When S would get out of bed even for just a quick trip to the toilet the cat would get up, lie where S was and glare when S tried to come back to bed.  When I got him, he was the runt of the litter and so tiny.  That was just over 13 years ago.
 
I’ll write about the Buffy lecture later.  It went well and there is a funny story to tell out of it.  But I’m not in the mood right now.
11.3.05 10:12


everything sucks says the depressed girl

What a crappy month.


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I’m trying to look on the positive – my Buffy presentation went well, we’ve chosen the colours for the bathroom and the majority of the painting will be done by the company.  I’m getting better at throwing the ball for Maya.


 


But it’s hard.  I was ill yesterday, which put me behind by a full day.  I don’t know if it was what I ate, just emotional or what.  S was disturbed because my puke was pink – I’d had strawberry yoghurt earlier – but he’s really good to be around when I’m sick.  Still, I was hoping to deal with the ninja’s yesterday so I could do a serious amount of Grey Owl research today and tomorrow.  Instead, I’m working handling ninja death squad issues today.


 


We’re burring my cat tonight.  S keeps asking if I want another cat.  I think so, but not right away.  Aside from mourning Gav, it will be nice to go places for the weekend and not have to worry about him, and it will be nice to eventually have Kvitsh over without cat hair clogging her lungs.


 

I really don’t want to be doing anything right now.  I want to play video games and let my brain drool out my ears.  Instead, I have to finish with the ninjas, finish a story for Tuesday and go through the submissions for fait accomplit.
12.3.05 18:31


mope

I’m up late trying to put together submission packages for fait accomplit. I can’t sleep anyway. I feel really tense and keyed up after a day of feeling draggy and sad. Tried going for puppy therapy with Maya and couldn’t get into running. Part of that has to do with slipping and falling twice in two days. Despite the snow that showed up today, we’ve had pretty warm weather and the trails are all mud.

I really want to be done with the work on our bathroom/bedroom closet. I’m tired of having people in and out of my home. I hate having things all over the place in chaos. I miss sleeping in my bed. We’ve been on the futon since it happened and I really do prefer my bed. This has been a long standing feeling. I hated sleep overs as a kid. As a wild young thing I would often leave part way through the night just so I could sleep in my own bed. And the main reason I hate to travel is not having my bed to sleep in.

Okay, back to work. I’m putting together packages for the editorial board - submissions without names on them - so we can decide who wants what to go in. If we had more submissions, I would leave out all of the ones that came in having ignored the submission guidelines. But we don’t have enough to be that picky. Maybe next year!

I feel like we’re falling behind on every aspect of this journal. I plan on getting it to the printers on Monday. I hope.
16.3.05 08:56


hrm

Well, I handed in a decent story, have the submission packages out to the editorial board and my bathroom is turning into a charming shade of “martini olive” so I guess things are chugging along nicely. I just wish I felt like doing something other than curling up in to a ball.
17.3.05 16:53


ninja's are exhausting

I’m really tired right now, a total to the bone weary.  Worked Friday with L, which was awesome.  Very bright, hard worker and believes ethics should be taught in business schools.  Saturday I spoke to a group of Comp Lit people about fait accomplit and then ran to work.  Which was unpleasant for a variety of reasons.  Its always the same problem – people decide something isn’t their job and then pull attitude about doing it.  Or they forget.  Or are just plain lazy.  It was exhausting.  The solution is simple – fewer shifts for them and more shifts for the people who work hard and aren’t assholes about it.


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S and I had dinner at the Highlevel Diner afterwards, which made (almost) everything better.  Spoke with one of the waiters about the upcoming cage fights.  And then we started talking about me working out and he suggested I try kickboxing at the place he trains.  I can’t till class is done – it’ll conflict with my noir class.  But that might be something interesting to try this summer.


 

Spent most of the day (in bits and pieces) with the ninja squad with a break to get grocs with K'vitsh.  I have a while yet with the ninjas.  Tomorrow I am laying out fait accomplit although right now I just want to rent a movie and snuggle.
21.3.05 04:24


its been a while

I seem to have lost my notebook.  You know, the one with all my notes about RA-ship, my entire course notes for this term, any notes I had on fait accomplit, plus some story ideas.  Hopefully I just left it at P’s when I was doing the lay out for f.a.


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It made doing my presentation tonight a little difficult – everything I had was in that book.  Still, it went well and between mine and G’s presentations we’ve convinced the prof to show some tech noir and neo noir.  I spoke about Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Blade Runner and Dark City and showed clips from the last two.


 


Tuesday I went to see Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars.  They put on the best rock show ever.  I wish they would come this way more often, although this time there weren’t any pyrotechnics, which is too bad.  The stage was way too small for them the really do much of anything, but still, I can’t think of anyone who puts on a better show.  Prince was great but really clean – it wasn’t a rock show, ya know?  And The Sisters of Mercy simply had too much smoke for me to really enjoy it.  And Lowest of the Low aren’t quite this visually entertaining.  Or naughty.


 

I’m doing a long shift with the secret ninja death squad, so I need to run back to them, but will try to be back on more now that the two crazy weeks are done…
25.3.05 08:26


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